对不起！

今天醒来又有种怪怪的感觉。。
也许我错了，
只想对你们说对不起。。


(一) 远方的先生
~我知道我辛苦了你，让你流了那男子的眼泪。
~很抱歉，我不是那完美的女人。
~知道你找到伙伴了，替你开心。。。
~但还是希望你快把我忘了，学习接受她。
~我们会是永远的朋友！


(二) 无消息的先生
~你去了三天，但还没消息。
~我只想知道，你还记得我吗？
~你最后说的一句，只说我变了。
~我承认，我变了。
~我所面对的一切使我变了。
~如果你无法接受，只希望你给我点消息。。


(三) 爱睡的先生
~我的讯息，是否你有看到呢？
~昨天答应了我，要陪我走一趟。
~我等了好久，没你消息 。
~你是否太累就睡了。。
~还是你朋友回来了，就不需要我了。
~也许你不知道，但我真的很想你。。
~别再睡了啦！


(四) 放不下心的先生
~我知道你说了你们现是朋友。。
~但我也知道你还是一样爱她，放不下。
~只要对你说，不要把我当替身。
~我们是朋友。。
~希望你能打起精神，别再因为她而难过。。
~加油！


(五) 多话的先生
~你也许不知道，我多欣赏你。
~但你永远只保留为我哥，我朋友。
~因为，你已有了可爱的姐。
~我渐渐学习了接受事实。
~你们，一定要幸福哦！


(六) 爱玩电脑游戏的先生
~谢谢你何时都在我身边。
~你是最棒的！
~但很抱歉曾经伤了你的心，也一直麻烦你。
~虽然忙，你还是愿意陪伴我。
~你，会是我永远的大哥！

29.09.2008

They made an announcement that today and
tomorrow there will be no wireless connection..
But there still is!
Again, woke up late today..
Around 3pm..
Woke up and saw so many miss calls and messages in my phone..

Miss calls were all from daddy..
Messages were random - from bro jim, mummy, gary, phill, mark..
Bro jim told me his new mobile number.
Mummy asked me whether I bought a new jacket.
Gary asked me how's life and I replied in a weird way.
Phill asked whether I had my lunch, that was 2 hours b4 I woke up.
Omg, piggy me!
Mark was the only one asking : "Are you awake already?"
But that message was sent 5 hours before I woke up. Sigh..

The rest of the day I was chatting and smsing..
With Mark using our newly downloaded skype,
With Alvin using MSN,
With Phill through sms ..
With Gary through sms..

Such a boring day..
Daddy called again to check out whether I am doing fine..
But an hour after Daddy called me,
I received a message from bro Jim
that Mummy and Daddy quarreled till Mummy cried.

I just prayed that everything will be okay..
I want Daddy and Mummy to know that even though I am not at home,
I still want them to live happily..
My mood was down after knowing that they quarreled.
What's making me upset is that like always, I cannot do anything..
God bless you Daddy & Mummy..
God's always with us, face every challenges given by God with tought hearts..
Love you all..

Went to village 4 cafe cause me & Mark planned to take dinner there..
Who knew it, the cafe was closed.
Asked Oliver whether he got a friend with car so we can at least go out.
He answered "Sorry, no.."
So me & Mark walked to village 5 cafe,
luckily there was A stall - pardon me, only ONE stall opened..
and selling only rice, and 3 types of spicy "lauk"..
No choice, me & Mark ordered for take away after
seeing some international students sort of preparing for a party at the cafe..
there were like more than 10 bottles of soft drinks

Took dinner in my room..
Of cause, while listening to musics.
Received an sms from Phill asking whether I ate.
I said "yes!" and he told me he and his friends ate prawns & fish!!
While I and Mark ate only rice and the what-so-ever curry.. #%@^*&$%!!
Smsed with Gary, talked about random stuffs and get to know each other better..

Those "happenings" most probably ended the night,
cause after dinner I did nothing except sitting at my study table starring at the I-dun-know-how-to-do Physics assignment..
Studied lil' of E maths and just wrote half-page-of-A4 notes,
Yes, only half... I read only 4 pages

The rest of the time,
until now..
I'm listening to musics, chatting and feeling sleepy..
Guess that's all for today..
The boring day No.3..
7 more days to go perhaps..
What can I say..
Live Live To The Fullest by not doing anything

Cheers People!!

美好的梦 ~爱的不是我

妹眉今天突然收到一位无名哥哥的应邀

她接受了，他们就聊起来
妹眉问了他是谁，才知道原来是 “他”
聊的是普通朋友聊的事，时时也有开玩笑
哥哥说一开学就发现到妹眉
妹眉吓到了，因为那时曾经欣赏哥哥
原来哥哥一直想跟妹眉做朋友
但也许是没胆子
上网了，才找妹眉聊
哥哥说很早就发现妹眉
因为妹眉长得像他朋友
而且名字也差不多
也聊了关于妹眉跟男友发生的争论
妹眉想不到她曾经欣赏的哥哥会找她
妹眉的名字也牢牢记住了
哥哥还提曾经看过妹眉跟朋友聊天的事
就这样聊到了一时早上
哥哥给了妹眉他的手机号码
跟妹眉说明天，他可能还会上网
挂线后，妹眉去找了哥哥的挡案
找到了哥哥所说跟妹眉长得相似的朋友
妹眉发现原来哥哥所说的朋友是他女友
哥哥跟女友已有半年了
妹眉想对哥哥说对不起
因为妹眉的出现使到哥哥很想念远方的女友
妹眉也无法承认喜欢哥哥
因为不想破坏哥哥跟女友的关系
也不敢面对自己的男友
如果哥哥喜欢妹眉，哥哥是否会说呢
哥哥是妹眉认识男友之前首个欣赏的男生
但妹眉应该是永没机会对哥哥说吧
也许只有妹眉这么欣赏哥哥
在哥哥眼里
妹眉只是跟女友长得很相似的女生
妹眉知道哥哥很爱女友
妹妹希望你们快乐
也希望妹眉能改进跟男友的关系
妹眉只好当作做这是一场梦
美好的梦

Loneliness through the Bible (edited)

Adapted from :

http://www.bibleversesite.com/topics/loneliness.html

(Deuteronomy 31:8) And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

(Psalms 23:4) Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

(Psalms 27:10) When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

(John 14:18) I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

(Hebrews 13:5) Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Adapted from :

http://www.bible.ca/f-loneliness.htm

1. Realize that such times of loneliness are common to all people, but they should be temporary. The psalmist asked himself, "Why art thou cast down, oh my soul? And why art thou disquieted within me?". And then immediately he comes back with the answer, "Hope thou in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance" (Psalm 42: 5).

2. Remember that God is always available to help you overcome loneliness. One of the verses that has helped me puts it this way, "But I trusted in thee, 0 Lord. I said, thou art my God, my times art in thy hands" (Psalms 31:14,15). If God is directing your life, you will not have any real cause to worry or be alarmed. "In nothing be anxious", wrote the Apostle Paul, "but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God and the peace of God which passeth all understanding shall guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6,7).

3. Decide to get busy helping others. If Elijah had answered the question "What doest thou here?, he would have had to say, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing". That was why he had time to feel sorry for himself and be lonely. God involves us in good works to our great advantage. Help those who are sick or shut-in. Call a person on the phone to cheer him up. Mail a card of sunshine to a friend. You and I are in the world to serve, to live, to help, and when we are doing this we just don't have time to feel sorry for ourselves. That's the way God answers our problems of loneliness.

Art of God!

Took this from an Email I received from my dearly friend,

Jessica who is currently in Australia.
It's a wonderful mail and I was amazed by the art of God.
What touched me most was the words attached.
Scroll down to see the art of God.

We live in an awesome world.
Make it an awesome day.
Peace To All and May God Bless You
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

Greetings!

I'm not Alone..it's my choice to be.

I'm here staying in the room alone..
Not only in my room alone,
But I guessed I'm alone in the whole floor.
I know the Thailand girls downstairs are still around. stalked on them

Today is the first day of the holiday.
And I had been doing nothing except getting online
And of cause, other routines like online , sleep, online , eat, online , bath and etc..

Good thing is, I get to use the bathroom alone.
But it is kinda spooky going in the bathroom or loo alone at night.
And the memory lane corridor is so quiet, dark...

I had been listening to songs and screaming singing as loud as I can,
Had been lying on the bed for hours.
Daddy even called to ask : "Are you sick? Why when I call you are always in bed?"
I just responded "I'm lazy sleepy tired."

People did asked me out,
but I'm too lazy tired to walk down my 3rd floor.
Feeling so calm and peaceful here in my room..
Quiet spooky and cooling..

Being alone doesn't mean it's something bad..
It's a choice..

26.09.2008

Today is a pre holiday. Many of us had classes but either skipped class or the period of lectures were shorten. I saw peoples went to the bank, withdrawing money so that they have enough to go back home (either celebrating or not celebrating Hari Raya). A few were carrying their luggages and stuffs to the car. I realised : It is holiday - one whole week of mid-sem break cum Hari Raya holiday. But for sure, I am not the only one staying back. Most Sarawakians and Sabahans are not going back. Even some non Muslims from Terengganu and Kelantan are not going back too. Seems like I am not that lonely after all.

Today's Agenda (In sequence)

1. Woke up at 10am, get self prepared to go for lunch. Need to hand in physics lab report and chemistry assignment.

2. Met up with Mark, Stiel and Terry at the USM cafe. Ordered "Chicken a la King". Was half way eating when Eriz and Louisa came. We took lunch together.

3. We left Eriz and Louisa (still eating) and Terry (will be having a meeting). Went to Pocket D to hand in Physics lab report and Chemistry assignment.

4. At Physics lab, met Afif (wanted to send his report too). Afif was still doing part of his incomplete lab report.

5. Me and Mark went to the our Chemistry lecturer office first to hand in our assignment, leaving Stiel and Afif at the Physics lab.

6. Met up with Stiel and Afif again. We all decided to go back to our respective hostels. I walk alone (it was drizzling and I was walking fast half running with my walkman phone on full blast)

7. Managed to reached without getting soaked. Straight away went online but nothing much to check on. Was just scrolling around.

8. Took bath and rest.

9. Settled some conflicts with Stiel. Cried badly. Damn! I am too emotional.

10. Asked my roomy (who was in Ipoh at that moment) to buy me dinner. Things between me and Stiel settled down. Took dinner bought by my roomy peacefully.

11. Went online again, chatted with Oliver. He invited me for a walk, was half hearted but I went because I cannot stand being in the room anymore (was in there whole afternoon).

12. We walked till the sports complex and turned back. Talked bout stuffs mostly on studies and families.

13. I called it day! Went back and now, online.

14. Blogging (currently) and then going to bed.
Good Night!

I pray to God

I pray to God to guide me and give me the strength
to face all the challenges He had given me.
I pray to Him that He will guide me and give
me signs whether the guy I am with right
now is the right guy for me.
I confess to Him that I had made a mistake that is
ignoring any signs of His before and after
I started my relationship with this guy.
I prayed to God that the guy will accept
any consequences that He will give him.
I also prayed that God will guide us through
our relationship and show us His power.

I really wished that the guy mention
will not be offended. We had been arguing
and tearing a lot lately. Everything happened
too quickly. It has nothing to do with how
much we want to be together. No matter how much
love we are having, how much we cared for
each other or how much we need one another,
it is always God that will determine whether
we are meant for each other and it is always right to seek God.

I am sure we will not regret taking
the path we are in now. But in the future,
let God show us the right path so that we
can continue our journey as guided and made by Him.

Hallelujah!

谁爱谁？

我真心爱他吗？

时时都在想，

他是不是真心的爱我。。

但从来没自己想想，

我，是否真的爱他。。。

是不是因为没有他，

我也能继续活下去，

就算我不够爱他？

是不是有时希望他不存在，

我就没真心爱他？

某时，

残酷的我。。。

还希望我能够找到比他好的。。

我应该跟他说我真的不喜欢，

不喜欢他那种利己主义，

超容易吃醋和生气的行为吗？

好几次了，

他都不相信我。。。

还污赖了我，

信了流言也不肯信我。。。

就这样，

你害了自己，伤了自己。

我，

也不再跟以前一样相信你。

不再敢靠近你。。。

你也许感觉得出，

所以那天一早才会收到你那封伤人的讯息。。

我不知怎么回你，

只说了 “我不是故意的！”

但后面一句永远藏在心里，

“是你批我的。。。。”



~Izit true saying that ~

"Guys are not worth crying for,
And the guy who is worth crying for,
Will not make a girl cry?"