Home!!!

I was in my room alone last night.
Still, I was not able to sleep well.
Like the previous nights,
I sat on my bed with my blanket covered till my head.
I tried not to cough so loud.
When I can no longer stand and almost lost my breath,
I grabbed the bottle of water beside me.
I drank a few gulps, just to ease my throat.
I can't feeling uneasy, the itch in my throat is really bothering me.
I woke up, switched on the lights and walked towards my study table.
Well, not practically study table.
It's the only table in my room so it's practically dining table as well.
I searched for the Gamat balm I brought all the way from Kuching.
Found it.
All of a sudden, I miss those moments.
I miss my family, my home.
I get sick very easily, I have low body immune system.
Back home whenever I get cough,
my dad will rub the balm on my throat every night.
My mum will boil all kinds of herbal drinks until I get better.
Now I have to do everything on my own.
I rub the balm myself,
but I don't even have the time to boil herbal drinks.
It hit me as well.
When I was studying, I always get food prepared for me.
My mum will prepare food and drinks,
all I care was to concentrate on my studies.
Here, survival comes first.
Food and money almost surpass studies.
Of course, you shall need to find food first to be able to stay alive.
Right now, I just want to finish whatever I am doing right here,
and get back home as soon as possible.
I knew I can't stay at home forever,
but now I am feeling a little more exhausted than usual.
I hate being independent. So what?
I am not sure whether to consider myself lucky
to be able to further my studies at young age.
Some friends back home do envy us who get to be far from home.
Those still staying with their parents are still given curfew,
being nagged everyday to study and given all kinds of restrictions.
But I miss those moments.
Those still experiencing it better appreciate it.