Monday, June 28, 2010

back on track (behind d scene)

what you wrote,

and what I read.

prayer answered, no?

it's me and you against the world.

are you ready?

to be stronger than ever?



June 23, 12midnight :
I arrived home after a bowling and hang out session with my old friends.
All I wanted was to forget him and tell myself not to remember him.
He left without a word and I was advised that he might need sometime alone.
Exactly at 12am he called.
I was already expecting something bad to happen.
I was all ready and on the other hand praying that my instinct was wrong.
True enough, he told me it was over.
After a week without him, he respected his decision.
Though it was difficult to accept the truth,
I thought it was for our own good.
Love, should not be forced.
That night I told God, if we are meant for each other, we will be.
I trust God and my friends and family were so much helpful.
I had no problem getting over him,
until at night when all the memories rushed back,
and I would cry myself to bed.

25 June, 7pm :
I left town and when back to my Mum's village.
We have a show the following week,
and the best distraction is can have is to dance.
Dance practice and football are what making me facing my days easier.
I put my phone aside, no access to the internet.
Dance, football, dance, football.
They may not get along so well but I like both.
I even told myself I will love England more than I love him.

26 June, 8pm :
My mum got the news of our break up.
She was shocked cause she was already comfortable with him.
She asked me what happened and I was honest with her.
She must be the greatest mum ever.
She told me I will find a better guy and asked me to take care of myself.
I thanked her for being with me during my ups and downs.
At the same time, I told him about my mum's question.
I told him I was upset and not knowing at first, how to tell her.
I received no answer.

27 June, 12noon :
During mass at church I prayed that God will make him happy,
and if we are meant for each other, I asked God for any sign he can give me.
I asked God to protect him now that I am not there for him.
That noon I received a message from him,
"do you believe in second chance?"
and he asked to view his email.
I rushed to use my cousin's broadband and true enough,
he sent me two emails.
An e-card.
It was a shocking message attached that I cried on spot.
I knew he was no the kind of guy who would do all these,
that is when I saw his efforts.
Another was an invitation to view his blog,
another message on how he doubt himself before and after we broke up.
It was so shocking that he even dedicate a lovely song to me.
I never knew he loved me that much,
and was romantic enough for all those.




Right when that all happened,
I thought of God, He gave us the sign.
After the break up, we doubt we can live apart.
We grew stronger than before.
And whatever brought us to that dark phase,
we talked about it and learn to give each other more space.
Thank you Lord.
For the days to come, I will still have faith in You.
Like how much You have in me when I was down.



Thursday, June 24, 2010

if we ever meet again

I know I had been very lazy.

My posts had been videos or just words.

Without any interesting vocabs or pictures.

But all those explain my situation right now.

Please give me more time :)






What's somebody like you, doin in a place like this?
Say, did you come alone, or did you bring all your friends?
Say, what's your name, what you drinking
I think I know what you're thinking
Baby what's your sign, tell me yours I'll tell you mine
Say, what's somebody like you doing in a place like this?
(1, 2, 3, 4)

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

Say if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear I've seen your face before (before, yeah)
Hope you don't see me blush, but I can't help but want you more, more
Baby tell me what's your story
I ain't shy, don't you worry
I'm flirtin with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight
So do you come here much, I gotta see your face some more, some more

Cuz baby

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again


If we ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (if we ever meet again)

If we ever meet again
I won't let you go away (said if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I'll have so much more to say (say if we ever meet again)

If we ever ever meet again
I won't let you go away

CHORUS:
I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

I'll never be the same - if we ever meet again
Won't let you get away - said if we ever meet again
This free fall's, got me so
Kiss me all night, don't ever let me go
I'll never be the same
If we ever meet again

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

the end

frustration.

the end of 19 months.

not worth the tears.

happy ending.

but not together.

time will tell.

if he want to enjoy.

i can do better.

i trust myself.

i trust fate.

i trust God.

Monday, June 21, 2010

U got me



There are many video versions of this song which you can check out yourself.
I particularly like this one but I see how Harry & Hermione relate to this song.
If you wanna why, check out the lyrics.

Enjoy :)
.

.

.

Title : U got me
Artist : Isis
Album : Inter groove

หลายครั้ง ที่เธอทำเจ้าชู้ ทั้งๆ ที่เดินอยู่กับฉัน
Lai krung tee tur tum jaochoo tung tung tee dern yoo gup chun
Over and over again you act like a playboy, even though you’re walking with me
ต้องหันมองคนอื่น ต้องยิ้มให้คนอื่นอย่างนั้น
Dtong hun mong kon eun dtong yim hai kon eun yahng nun
You gotta check out other people, gotta smile at other people like that

โอ้ว โว… มือเธอก็จับที่มือฉัน
Oh whoa…meu tur gor jup tee meu chun
Oh whoa…your hand holding mine
แต่ตาเธอแอบมองใครคนนั้น
Dtae dtah tur aep mong krai kon nun
But your eyes secretly looking at those others
ก็ฉันดูอยู่ แต่เดี๋ยวเธอต้องโดนสักครั้ง โน โว…
Gor chun doo yoo dtae diao tur dtong dohn suk krung no whoa
And I watch, for fear you might dump me some time

(*)คนอื่นน่ารัก ฉันก็รู้แต่อยากบอกเธอเอาไว้
Kon eun nahruk chun gor roo dtae yahk bork tur ao wai
Other girls are cute, I know but I want to remind you
ว่าคนที่เธอรัก อยู่ตรงนี้
Wah kon tee tur ruk yoo dtrong nee
That the person you love is right here
แค่หันมาก็เจอ ไม่เห็นต้องไปมองที่ไหน ฮ่า โอ่ว โฮ่ว…
Kae hun mah gor jur mai hen dtong pbai mong tee nai ha oh ho
Just turn and you’ll find her, I don’t see why you have to go looking anywhere, hah oh ho

(**)มีฉันแล้วยังจะมองหาใครอีก
Mee chun laeo yung ja monghah krai eek
You have me and you still look for others
มีฉันแล้วเธอจะไปสนใครอีก
Mee chun laeo tur ja pbai son krai eek
You have me and you’re still interested in others
รู้ว่าเธอแค่มอง ก็พอจะเข้าใจ บางทีก็คิดมากไป
Roo wah tur kae mong gor por ja kao jai bahng tee gor kit mahk pbai
I know that you just look, but that’s enough to understand, sometimes I think too much
กลัวว่าฉันจะไม่ดีเหมือนใครๆ
Glua wah chun ja mai dee meuan krai krai
I’m afraid that I’m not as good as the others
กลัวว่ารักเราที่มีนั้นจางไป
Glua wah ruk rao tee mee nun jahng pbai
I’m afraid that our love that we have is fading away
ถึงยังไงก็มีแต่เธอในหัวใจ
Teung yung ngai gor mee dtae tur nai hua jai
Even though I have only you in my heart
และฉันก็ไม่โกรธ แค่อารมณ์น้อยใจ
Lae chun gor mai groht kae ahrom noy jai
And I’m not angry, just a little hurt

เพราะฉัน มีเธอเป็นคนรัก
Pror chun mee tur pben kon ruk
Because I have you as my lover
คนเดียว ในใจมันเลยหวง
Kon diao nai jai mun loey huang
Alone in my heart, jealous
ก็หึงและก็ห่วง เพราะฉันมีเพียงแค่เธอเท่านั้น
Gor heung lae huang pror chun mee piang kae tur tao nun
I’m possessive and worries because I have only you alone

(*, **, **)

มีฉันแล้วยังจะมองหาใครอีก
Mee chun laeo yung ja mong hah krai eek
You have me, and you still go looking for others

U got me… U got me…

บางทีก็คิดมากมาย กลัวว่าฉันจะไม่ดีเหมือนใครๆ
Bahng tee gor kit mahk mai glua wah chun ja mai dee meuan krai krai
Sometimes I think too much, afraid that I’m not as good as the others

U got me… U got me…

ถึงยังไงก็มีแค่เธอในหัวใจ
Teung yung ngai gor mee kae tur nai hua jai
Even though I have only you in my heart
และฉันก็ไม่ได้โกรธ แค่อารมณ์น้อยใจ
Lae chun gor mai dai groht kae ahrom noy jai
And I can’t be angry, just a little hurt

Sunday, June 20, 2010

timeless

When he left without a word, I was so depressed.

Tears accompanied me to sleep.

I tried very hard to distract myself by doing things I like.

He makes me wonder whether I will ever be the same girl,

rejecting the better and stand loyal & faith beside him.

I thought I would fight hard to get him back to my side.

It is so hard until I barely want to wake up to face my days.

Until that moment where I remembered,

I wanted him to be by my side so badly when I am sick,

but which guy would stay by a sick girl?

I know if I love him, I must let him go.

I try to remove everything which reminds me of him.

But the stores we visited together, the movies we watched,

the silly words we called each other will always be there.

I love him that much, perhaps he made the right decision,

to leave without a word and never look back.

I do not want him to suffer beside me,

he deserves someone better who can accompany him to the end.

Will my sacrifice be worth it?

There is no time for us, only you.

I learned to accept that fate between us.

You, if you ever read this

I am not dissapointed you left,

I am just dissapointed you never say goodbye.




This, dedicated to you.


Friday, June 18, 2010

生理时钟-小猪

七点钟 你在唤醒我
一点钟 吃饭来陪我
你在乎着我 快乐难过从不偷懒
身边默默跟随我
六点钟 终于下班了
六点八分 烛光晚餐已做好了
配着你的香味
你的笑容如糖果 好想把你也放进肚里
你是我身体里的时钟
什么时候都让我感动
你想我想的事 作我作的梦
陪着你 不会浪费一秒钟
与你跨过爱情的时空
全世界的钟
吵吵闹闹 吵闹都没用
跟你抱着过
跟你看着时间流动
怎么样的爱 像你的存在
给我的生命 添了一分可爱
分享你的爱 分享你的现在
过去过了慢慢占据我的未来
九点半 电影看完了
十点半 准备睡觉了
你在我身边都隐藏
没有感觉 发现永远不够用
十一点 你快睡着了
十二点了 在梦里继续逗你笑
悄悄的告诉你 我内心的秘密
傻傻的我 是太有福气
你是我身体里的时钟
什么时候都让我感动
你想我想的事 作我作的梦
陪着你 不会浪费一秒钟
与你跨过爱情的时空
全世界的钟
吵吵闹闹 吵闹都没用
跟你抱着过
跟你看着时间流动
怎么样的爱 像你的存在
给我的生命 添了一分可爱
分享你的爱 分享你的现在
过去过了慢慢占据我的未来

if only you know.
that you are different.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I wish

At times I wish I would accidentally lost
my phone for one or two days because
it is just so painful waiting.
I wish.

Friday, June 11, 2010

How scary can Facebook be?

from http://sdow.semanticweb.org


Facebook saves...
...things that have been deleted. Be it your status update, a picture of you, drunk and unbecoming, or even after you've deactivated your account - they keep it after it's gone from your memory.

Facebook knows...
...where you've been. Whether you're stalking your ex, checking up on an old friend or taking a look at someone's farm; Facebook keeps a log of clicks of everything you've, well, clicked on.

Facebook knows...
...if you have friends. It can find out the frequency with which you visit someone's profile and use this data to judge who your buddies are. How to tell this is true? Search results for friends are not listed alphabetically but according to how often you interact with them.

Facebook is your...
...psychologist. Instead of doing focus groups and sampling for its new features, the social networking site carries out psychologist tests for new features on you. To boot, eyeball tracking tells them what you're looking at.

Facebook is a...
...mail thief. It can retrieve any message you've sent as all of them are stored in its servants. In fact, they'll keep them long after you've trashed the trash.


Source : Online Media Gasette @ Female Malaysia magazine

Friday, June 4, 2010

Till then

As seen I have not been updating my blog much. I had been feeling lazy and it has been almost 2 weeks since I finished my final paper. Everyday I wake up to see eveyone on our own laptops watching Gossip girls, Supernatural, Glee, Vampire diaries or 90210. I finished all except Supernatural cause I do not have codec, and I am currently on 90210. Malacca trip coming Tuesday and before that we gonna have all those series marathon. Super broke now so gonna take some simple dinner with the girls. Tomorrow, going down to Ipoh. Selling our massive number of books and my baby hamsters. I am so gonna miss them, hopefully they get nice new owners. Till then......... :)