Monday, January 2, 2012

Boyfriends 101

No, this is not that post on 101 ways to get a boyfriend, or 101 ways to dump your boyfriend. Neither is it going to mention 101 boyfriends of mine, which I never had that many. Never even met 101 who are potential boyfriends wtf.

It's a new year so perhaps I should start 2012 with an interesting post, while my brothers are BBQ-ing because my youngest brother will be off for National Service tomorrow #likeaboss. And oh ya before I forgotten this is just a reminder to myself, I spent almost RM500 just on clothes and skincare, in 3 days. Bravo T__T There goes my new year. And I still have 2 trips coming up 4-19 January. And Chinese New Year who knows where is the family going this time and how much I am going to spend again FML.

Alright back to topic... I guess most readers knew that I started 2012 single. Not a big deal, after all I am just 21 wtf and my expectations on potential boyfriend had just shoot up the sky. What many didn't know was that it had been so hard to let go. Read about "Meme Proposal" which when crazy online? Congrats! 3 years relationship ended in marriage, but mine went down the drain #hahaha. LOL I am not sad, even a friend's 5 years relationship ended so mine was probably nothing so sad about.

Just that...I learned what love is. You know when you grew older, you start to feel a little insecure about yourself but at the same time maturity grew? Ok I didn't have 101 boyfriends but they are people in my life whom I've loved, who loved me back but in the end, people change.

If you mean actual relationships with guys, I had a few but only 2 left me deep impressions and changed the way I view life wtf. It took me 2 months to learn that I should just let go and stop hoping that it will revive, that even if doesn't work out, love will not let it work out. You need more than just love for a perfect relationship.

On New Year's Eve I decided to be a little honest, let him know what I really felt and yes, he said it will never work out again. And I knew it will be too stupid on me to let myself being hurt for the third time by the same guy. We had first chance, second chance, but only God will give third chance, and all the other chances you want.

I told myself not to go through the same stupidity, but to just let us live in those memories. We thank each other for the memories and may the future be better with us living off each other. But there is always something playing in my mind...which when I asked, I always get excuses after excuses. Do guys ever think about the future at the beginning of a relationship? Because it seemed that when they want it to end, they always use the future as a reason (I mean other than other ladies they date if they are having affairs FTL).

"I don't see you in my future." "I cannot have a future with someone like you." "I don't want to have my children behaving like you." "We are not compatible." "We are going towards different direction." wtf. You freaked out whenever I mentioned about marriage or the future and now all of a sudden we have NO future #hahaha. Now you think girls are complicated?

Okay this post is *becoming* lame. But my vision of boyfriend is now like Lee Min Ho or Rain wtf #toomanykoreandramas. Can be short like Big Bang's TaeYang but if he's as hot dancer then why not. Or maybe don't need so good looking but can cook Asian meals cause I can only cook Western food wtf. least be romantic, I never even got a single stem of rose FML kaokao

I'm not a high maintenance girl....errrr not all true but really, only my money management very bad FML but now because my 17 years old brother is saving for a Lamborghini wtf, I should probably at least save for a Mini Cooper (though that is wayyyy cheaper than a Lambo). Oh God, I will probably die single FML #hahaha #awkward.

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