Not alone, you've reached this far

Yes, it's mostly words but if you plan to kill yourself, read on. It is not going to kill you, but maybe stop you.

I am not sure whether I am too carefree lately or I just think life happens this way. I was in a lot of trouble lately, endless trouble. I had to go to and fro the security office, don't ask me why. I had problems with one of my course, mentioned in one of my previous post. I almost lost my belongings, all the cash and cards. Had a big quarrel with my brother. And the list goes on...

I was super stressed up, I really cannot figure out what else to do. There was no one really there to help me, to me these are my problems and I need to solve them myself. Most of the time I tell one or two friends, but keep the rest of the story to myself. The only one I really talk to is Jesus.

Perhaps I should open out more. I guess my brother and I are facing so many problems right now, that was why we quarreled, cause we were unable to get hold onto ourselves. There are times when I thought that there must be the reasons to suicidal cases, and was I facing something near? 

Then I had these thoughts, I may be at my worst. But there can be someone out there facing worst. I may be failing this one subject, but how about those final year students who almost graduated but was sent to tests by God? What happen if just before your graduation, you had to quit Uni? I may be insulted mentally, if not worst how about those physically and mentally?

Maybe through these problems, it is still back to how you handle yourselves. I have no doubt in telling that though how much I pray for God's help, I still tear myself to bed. I scream for help, or just a little comfort. There might be nothing in return, but I cannot expect anything more for God is equal. I am not alone.

When I get too worried, it reminds me of people who suffers more than me. There are people out there living in fear and sufferings. Those who fear that anytime death will come taking them. Fear loosing the beloved ones. So for now, no matter how bad life treats you, perhaps the only way, is to be thankful, be grateful.

At least you survived this far :)

And I apologize for the rough vocab and grammar. It's 4.30am now as I type this line. I need to wake up at 7am. Nites