the end of the beginning

Sometimes I just tear when I know how short can my life be.

Just that thought is enough for me to feel hopeless.

I wonder whether I can enjoy life after braces cause I need another year.

I wonder whether I can graduate cause I need another 3 years.

I wonder whether I get to marry the guy I love and spend my life with him.

I wonder whether I will be pregnant and experience the joy of having children.

I wonder whether I get to see my children grow.

But some people hate tears, that is when I wish I will never cry again.

I tried but it was just too much to handle, the pain.

I wish someone would understand, but none did.

I am treated as if I can live forever.

Instead, I want to be treated like tomorrow will be my last day.

Cause I am not healthy girl you saw yesterday.

When you kissed me, do you ever wish you will see me again tomorrow?

When we hope for the best for others, we just tend to neglect ourselves.

I hate being sick. I hate crying because I am the unlucky one.

You knew but why are you trying to pretend?

I don't want to live forever, I just want to end what I started.