Maybe It's Just Me

There is one thing I still do not really understand about Malaysian.
For ages, people had been living in their own groups.
Even before Malaysia gained it's independence,
lands and job scopes had been separated into different races and status.
The Chinese would be businessman living in the town area,
the Malays would be fisherman or paddy plater living near the river or sea,
and the Indians would be rubber tapper living at the rubber plantation.
The rich can never mix with the poor cause they think the poor are like parasites.
While the poor never dared to even look at the rich cause they are afraid of discrimination.

Maybe because I entered a Chinese medium primary school,
where majority of the students are Chinese,
and even those who are non Chinese can communicate in Chinese fluently...
I never really did notice any differences at that stage.
Not until I entered a Government High school.
During high school, the differences were then obvious.
Students get into their own pack of people of the same physical and mental state.
They speak among themselves in their own language.
They do everything in the same gang,
study, eat, going to the toilet, hang out...
Even gossiping about the other gangs within the same gang.
I admit I had been in the same situation,
doing everything in the same Chinese girls' gang.
Then I met people, people who express their non comfortability.
Especially talking Chinese or Malay in front of those who do not understand.
It is still one of the reason why I still prefer to use English language
as a communication medium until today.
It is fine when there are girls talk or boys talk within the gang.
But I don't get that the boys and girls still prefer to stay in their own groups
even for school projects.
Thinking of having all guys and all girls colleague when you become a working adult??
It is impossible.
Even guys work at the sanitary napkins factories,
even women becomes a promoter for men clothings.

Now in University, things are getting worst.
The groups grew bigger, adding in members and poisoning each and every members' minds.
They stay with the same people, same race, same gender.
Looking at the same faces during lectures, tutorials, lab sessions, group projects and etc...
Maybe it is, still the fact that I am not either pure Chinese, not a Malay,
an Indian or not pure Dayak...
Well, I am not the only not pure people here but the others seemed to be knowing
which side they actually belonged to, maybe a race they are more keen on.
But maybe not me, I am split.
Since people are all going in their own gang of races or gender,
I can't seemed to decide which gang that can really fits me.

Or maybe it is just me.
Elephants don't hang out with giraffes right...
And lions don't hang out with tigers either...
Till today, I still love being in a group of different races and genders,
including at this stage, the International students.
It's true, I hate all girls group.
Sometimes I think it is too over sissy and that is just not me.
Like like working out with people of different regions and genders.
Exploring different cultures and languages.
Experience and learn what can be done by the guys but not the girls....

But still,
I am always stuck to be alone...
Can't even seemed to find a suitable group for myself.
It never last, cause I felt uncomfortable when they start gossiping about other groups.
Still, Maybe It's Just Me...