Wednesday, July 1, 2009

332th post

I can't really recall when was the first time we met. All I remembered that I was a young, innocent little girl and you were a growing up young teenager. You were delicate and shy the very first time I get to know you, but for sure not in person. Compared to the others, I was the tiniest, the unnoticeable, the easily forgotten. I was never important when I was younger. The attentions were always for the two of them, both my beloved. You guys had always been after them, one after another, and I was always the middle person. I was always the one who accompany my beloveds for dates because they knew I will never give out secrets. I was always the one becoming the so called post girl when younger you used to write short love letters to one another. Even though I was young, I knew you since the beginning. I knew you are different for the others, you were not confident with yourself, you kept thinking yourself as the worst, you kept protecting others and neglecting yourself. I knew you loved her but you never did dared to tell her. Instead, you ask him to convey the message to her. I knew that my beloved had feelings for you, for you were such delicate and caring man. However sadly, she was doubting whether you were the man she would love and spend her everlasting life with. Time after time, she came back and went again. My beloved never gave you the answer to your question, you were devastated. You did not gave up but tried your best to stand up and smile whenever you were asked. You danced, you cheered. You always thought you had forgotten her drinks after drinks, but she appeared still in your dreams, night after night. Your condition was turning bad to worst but nobody knew, except God and yourself. You never complained but when you met me, you were forced to open your mouth for the sake of my beloved and you. I was not sure whether I made the correct step getting near you after what happened between you and my beloved. Will it be called betrayal? Or should I just left you alone trying to cope with your own life? Will he get the wrong message if I tell him? Questions after questions streamed into my brain. Something must had happened to me in the past, I decided to lend you a helping hand and promised to get you cured before I leave, which till now I am not sure whether I had made a mistake. Time when by and you figured it was time. It was shocking but you told me that is the truth and you really mean it. I never expected anything from you, and neither did you. We were once strangers, I was once only your post girl. I was starting to get scared, will history repeat itself? I was young and I knew nothing. I was too young to know the feeling of love. I was too young to know what is love. That was what I told myself when you were my first crush. My self-talking managed to help me get you off my mind, and I continued carrying out my duty as an accompany girl and post girl between you and my beloved. You were so in love with her, I thought things were going forever. I promised to help you and cure you, cheer you up to get you ready to meet a new girl in your life, but why do I think I will be the next one hurting you? First love had forever been the most unforgettable romance. We were never together, you were with my beloved. I was always transparent, you had always seen my beloved. You had never asked for my phone number, you were dying to get hers. I was always hoping you would do those to me, but I don't know why when you finally did, I felt scared. Neither of us expected all these to happen, and since then I pray for signs from God. You were the one I had wanted to be with, you were the one I always want to fall for. It never came through my mind that we would even talk or look strainght into each other, I had only watched you from far, wishing you all the best with my beloved. Now, you offer to hold my hand. Sadly, I never got over the fact that you were together with my beloved and the fact that I had already found my prince. It feels like I am living in a fairy tale, when silent love comes to sound after years of silence. But why it has to be now, why did you came so late? As in who is the undercover prince? This has to be between me, and God.

-dedicated to you-

"something between us"

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