Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Set free!

I had spent the last 1 hour in the bathroom..
Taking my shower while had some thoughts flowing in my mind..
On second thought, I was not sure whether I really did changed..
I planned to change part of my life this semester..
I do not mean to be set free from parental control,
set free from hectic life or a closed up room..
I want to be set free fro myself, getting out of my comfort zone..

I found myself different at times..
Like my baby...
Maybe because we are mix~as in having parents of different races..
Perhaps that is the fact why we mix well with different races...
People actually get confused whether I am a Chinese or non Chinese..
Since I do mix well with any, I go around with any..
I can also talk any of the languages okay-ly..
It was due to the fact of humans thinking,
that Chinese mixes with Chinese,
Malay mixes with Malay,
Indian mixes with Indian,
Bumi mixes with Bumi that confuses many..
Having the fact that I can mix with any..
I am not trying to be racist~think about it, look around you..
It is a FACT..

When I registered for my English tutorial..
Having thoughts that I maybe the only girl in the class..
Or the only Chinese~I bet most of you will think so too if you were me..
But then...
I was doing loads of thinking,
and I decided to move out of my comfort zone..
Setting myself free from any racial issues,
which had frozen many minds making them staying in their comfort zones..
I still fear a little, but I am taking up the challenge..
Would it be the only girl, or the only Chinese..
Let it be~the most is I will be the most outstanding one..
Or the least outstanding one...

I also plan to try every sports I can get my hands on to..
Or my body on to..
The 1st day I reached my Uni,
for the very 1st time in my life I held a squash racquet..
And played squash like I did played before..
Last semester, the times were countable..
Played 2-3 times volleyball early of the semester..
1 time basketball and swam 1 time during the semester break...
That was all I had for sports..
The 6 weeks end of semester holidays,
I did nothing except sleeping, surfing the net, movies and eating..
I am getting sick of all of these,
I felt sick without sports..
So here I am having the athletic spirit..
Perhaps the 1st time in my life having this kinda feeling..

This is the 2nd day since lectures started..
Good news is, I had been taking my lunch and dinner outside..
No more asking my dear roomy to "ta pao"..
Or lazily taking Maggie mee in my room..
My room is the best comfort zone I have in Uni..
Especially my bed..
Now I have to force myself out~climb out of my comfort zone..
It maybe difficult at 1st, but again I have to challenge myself..
This semester is a tough semester..
Not only the seniors, the lecturers said so too..
Nothing will be the same..
Well, except staying in the same room..
*the silly feeling of packing & unpacking in the same room*

Perhaps I had been a little bit more mature..
Perhaps I do not mind much about what I will do in the future..
But only what I do now~whether it will affects the future..
Like what our English lecturer told us,
conformity, or "joining the band wagon" ~
is causing Malaysian education system to fail/be ineffective...
However, it is sill human nature..
Just like animals nature to stay in their own flocks of same species..
Trying to break the nature for animals may causes harm between animals,
but maybe not to humans..
Except if you consider yourself the innocent deer and others the fierce tigers..
In Uni life, the only thing gets harm by breaking the nature of conformity..
Maybe our CGPA...
Namely marks credited on cooperations and team works..
Or in other works, UNITY...
Among locals, internationals and different races..

p/s : some people don't know I am mix..
or at times they forgotten when they talk bad bout other races in front of me..
*they got too excited and forgotten I was there*
Like being sarcastic on Bumi when I am with Chinese,
and being sarcastic about Chinese when I am with non Chinese..
I does felt weird at 1st but then I got used..
I can't be supporting any either..
So be aware when I am near you.. XD

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